i’ve been listening to arctic monkeys radio on spotify for like two weeks straight i think i might need help
"The walls are boiling so hard that the entire house peels back. The bones are dirtier than they were yesterday, and you almost trip on your way out of your body. But here you are, without a single stumble left in your feet. There are angry letters underneath the bed and softer ones on the nightstand. We are all so guilty of trying to hide our sharp. Your elbows are bleeding, and you can’t blame it on the city this time. This was all you, trying to push away the person you used to be. Some nights you still wonder if she ended up in someone else’s body. Science tells you that energy can’t be destroyed, so where did all that wind go? Maybe it’s coming back as something different. Maybe it’s coming back as something you actually want to keep this time."
Y.Z, If forgiveness knocks on your door, offer her a key (via rustyvoices)
"There’s a dream where we break all the dishes in my kitchen and then
eat the pieces.
I know it’s a dream because we are still alive after we swallow.
It sounds more like a nightmare,
and it would be, except that
we are together,
so even the fractured ceramic is
tender as we chew it.
There’s a dream where we want our own world,
so we cut it out of blue and green paper
like a science project,
except your silhouette is every piece of land
and my spine is every mountain range laying across you.
Here are the broken plates
mending inside of us, healing soft
and pliant, bending like the necks of swans,
forgetting that they are glass.
Maybe we can forget, too.
I can kiss you where it’s sharp
until you can’t remember how the pain
made you someone to be afraid of.
There’s a dream where nothing bleeds, but everything is alive,
where broken things can be made
unbroken just by wishing it.
Let me tell you about the earth
and what it looked like before we
got our hands on it.
Let me tell you about the earth and
how it broke apart like a plate on
the tile floor.
We all know what it is to be unmade.
In a dream, we tried to forget."
"You are not brave because you said no, or brave because you ran away, or because you looked love in the face and said “not today.” There is nothing courageous about the way you left me, open handed, palms outwards, waiting. I was standing at your door and I was saying “I will take you as you are if you will do the same for me.” You didn’t know how to. No one had taught you that wanting someone desperately is like sliding out of your clothes and out of your skin and laying yourself at their feet. All skin and no walls. All soul and no teeth, no metal, no keys. No one had shown you how lovely vulnerability can be. How proud it is to be naked in front of someone. Fully clothed, naked. Arms full of heart. Heart full of rain. Body like an olive branch, I am telling you that I love you today. I am telling you that I am not scared to be fragile in front of you. I am telling you that I trust you to look after my gentle. Keep it safe, don’t keep it hidden. They say that giving your name to someone is giving them power over you. I wrote my name on your wrists. I wrote it in your mouth. Whispered it into your ear. I said “here, this is who I am, do what you will with it. I am not scared. I am not frightened.” Even then, even after that, in that quiet rain filled room I watched you stitch yourself back up again and turn away, I watched you do it without me. I kept my hands open anyway, just in case. Here, the mattress is asking you what you’re doing. Here, the walls have known how you sound when you murmur my name. Here, everything is wondering where your brave is. Where has your courage gone? Where is your wolf? I know that you can feel in colours that haven’t been invented yet. I know that you’re trembling beneath your soldier body. I would have loved you enough for the both of us. Until then, I will run through the streets after dark holding a sign that says ‘I SURVIVED LOVING A MAN WHO DID NOT KNOW HOW TO LOVE ME BACK AND IT WAS GLORIOUS.’"
Azra.T “not leaving your heart wide open was the most cowardly thing you’ll ever do” (via 5000letters)
"There is too much wrong with the weather
these days and I can’t look you
in the eyes without thinking
about how long it’s taken for
the snow to melt.
This is where it hurts.
This is where it rains and
this is where the treetops
are beautiful but oppressive,
smells like the after of a storm
and the light can’t quite find a way in.
I want to take the sun
and give it to you, burning
and screaming and righteous.
I want my hands to remember
the fury of it.
I want them to always be on fire.
There is an elegy in your
cheekbones that remembers
the lightning that sculpted them,
and I can’t stop singing about
the oblivion inside of you,
all warm and silent and waiting
like a mouth that’s praying.
Come home. Come back.
I am still learning how to be brave
and I want you to see."
Oh Christ I just wanted you to fuck me
and then I became greedy,
I wanted you to love me